One very strange thing B does is to try and provoke me to get angry with him. Normally I'm a very patient and tolerant person, but, like all human beings, I have my limits and hot buttons.
One night I was trying to watch a movie with my 13 year old son. B kept interrupting and even turned off the TV several times. I told him to stop in a nice way, then a less nice way and so on. Eventually he was in his room making so many goony noises that I got up to tell him to stop. When I got to the door he threw himself down and cried out: "Stop hitting me, stop hitting me!" He did this several times and I just backed away in disbelief.
Now I see him doing similar things, as if he were trying to build a case against me. I think what he really is doing is redirecting the blame or accountability for his failing life on me. In fact, I know that is what he is doing because I hear it all the time. This false abuse accusation stuff is just the material to support his claim.
This is truly a no-win situation for me. I cannot discipline him because he becomes so physical that I react and there it is: Dad's abuse! I cannot ignore his behavior because it is intolerable and he needs help.
I will be very lucky to get out of this one unscathed. My hope is to have him on his own when the weather is warmer and he is 18.
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